When One Drink’s Too Many and A Thousand’s Never Enough

Photo by Chris F: https://www.pexels.com/photo/assorted-wine-bottles-1283219/

I’m on my way home from work and call home and say “Baby, I’m stopping at the bar. I’m only going to have a couple then I’ll come home.”

This was the absolute truth as I saw it at the time. I really meant to have one or two and leave.

“Yeah, but…”

Here we go with the “Yeah, buts” again.

Always looking for the easy way in everything.

For an alcoholic, many times there is no easy way for anything. The best definition of an alcoholic for me was the one that said Once an alcoholic takes that first drink, he can’t guarantee his actions.

That is me. Once I took that first drink, all logic and reason took a poof pill and were long gone.

I could say that I was going to do something with all sincerity and then do something else. Calling home to say I was going to have one and then not making it home is a prime example of my drinking life.

I wasn’t lying in my mind when I said it but that was just what I ended up doing.

I’d have one drink, and go home, upon occasion.

Or go back for “just one more.” Then end up closing up the bar. All after saying “Only one drink.” Or go back and close the bar and go home. Or close the bar and go to a “blind pig.” And then go home with the rising sun.

What kind of deranged person would do this, anyway? An alcoholic, that’s who. It is the most natural thing for an alcoholic to do, in fact.

The most natural thing for a spooked deer to do is run. For a fish is to swim. For a bird is to fly. For an alcoholic is to drink.

When I was drinking, I could never stop drinking on my own for any length of time.

If someone had a 6 pack and offered me one, I would politely thank them and refuse. Because, even if I drank half or 3, I would not have had enough. There was never enough, in my eyes. And only have one? Forget it! Impossible!

I was usually on a drunk, coming down from a drunk, or planning the next one.

If any of this sounds familiar to you, I will not call you an alcoholic. That is up to you. I will tell you where I was, what I did, and where I am now. My experiences, strengths, and hopes. Then, you can choose about yourself.

Got His Life Back image by Author James Boylan and ChatGPT

And, if you decide that you are an alcoholic, there are ways to get your life back.

You are not in a hopeless situation like I believed that I was before I was introduced to AA by people I did all of the above with for years. The difference was that, at that time, they had been sober and happy, joyous, and free. I could believe and trust them.

I am now happy, joyous, and free, and have been for 48 years. You can be too if you choose to.

Thank you, God!